Tag Archives: codependence

Forming healthy relationships with an anxious attachment style

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Forming healthy relationships with an anxious attachment styleLast week we explored what an anxious attachment style looks like in the context of intimate relationships. Today, we explore options for developing healthy relationships if you know, or your partner has this attachment style.

What happens when the person that you are in an intimate relationship with does not fulfill your attachment expectations? What if you have an anxious attachment style and are with someone with an avoidant attachment style?

Being anxious means thriving on intimate supportive relationships that are stable and long lasting. You may be aware that uncertainty and emotional unavailability in your relationship generally lead to a miserable existence.

Paradoxically, people with anxious attachment styles often date people with avoidant attachment styles. This is primarily because …

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Tired of being called co-dependent? There’s more to it than that

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Tired of being called co-dependent? There’s more to it than thatAs the human race has evolved, individuals who became attached to their partners seemed to have the genetic competitive edge.

In addition to a survival advantage, they passed on a preference for forming intimate bonds to their offspring. This results in attachment theory, which is based on the assertion that the need to be in a close relationship is natural because the tendency is genetic. As with other genetic traits, however, there are variants within the population.

Attachment comes in three different styles, none of which is pathological:

  • Secure: Individuals with this attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy. They are generally warm and loving within their relationships.
  • Avoidant: Individuals with this attachment style equate intimacy with a loss of independence.
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