The art of getting support after a divorce (part 2)


Talking with a counsellor can help. 1866 833-7690

child sleepingSeparation and divorce are stressful life transitions; in fact, after death of a spouse, divorce is rated as the next greatest life stressor, and learning how to share the kids is often the biggest hurdle newly divorced couples face. I’ve yet to meet anyone who has navigated these waters without incident. There are no simple answers or a script to follow. But there are ways to reduce the stress and conflict, albeit they take practice and patience.

Perhaps one of the greatest insecurities and vulnerabilities we endure centers on losing the love of our children, losing time with them as they go between homes/families, or fear of being replaced by our ex’s new partner.

When your self-esteem is possibly at its lowest and your stress rate at its highest, the support of others is vital. Whether it comes from a friend, a separation and divorce support group, or your EAP counsellor, reinforcement and encouragement can help you through the next steps.

When you can’t discuss an issue without conflict, or if you’ve reached a stalemate, engage a mediator or lawyer who practices collaborative law to work through some of the issues. Your EAP counsellor can assist you, alone or with your ex, to develop a parenting plan and can coach you on supporting your children as you redefine your family dynamics.

Recommended Resources:

  • When Mom and Dad Separate by Margret Heegard
  • Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak
  • Marital Separation: Coping with the end of a marriage and the transition to being single again by Robert Weiss
  • Parent Alienation: How to Address Parent Alienation by L.F. Lowenstein
  • Putting Children First, A Guide for Parents Breaking Up   by Hanna McDonough & Christina Bartha
  • Mom’s House, Dad’s House: A Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Living Apart by Isolina Ricci
  • The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce by Elizabeth Thayer, Jeffrey Zimmerman

Shepell offers a wide range of Health and Wellness Resources, including our online Separation and Divorce program. By understanding the emotional, practical, and legal aspects that may be faced during the various stages of separation and divorce, you will be better prepared to face the future.

Please contact us at 1-866-833-7690 or visit us online at and follow the Online Access link to request this package or to connect with a counsellor.

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