When trust is broken, it can feel like something inside the compass of what is right or wrong is damaged. Consequently, you immediately start looking for a way to fix the situation, to obtain justice. You start to idealize the desired result; you hypothesize, and explore the probability of achieving that desired result. Finally, you decide to act and do something to restore the emotional balance, by choosing to rewrite your story from victim into a story of personal growth.
“Sit comfortably with a pen and paper. Let the muscles of your back relax with each breath you take. Stay focused on your breath for a while.” (Mountain Dreamer)
Let’s identify how we act when we are hurt and in pain:
“Write it down, your feelings and thoughts, with the truth you know in this moment, without judgment, and without rushing to end the process.” (Mountain Dreamer)
When you are ready, pick up your pen and paper and complete the following sentences:
Reviewing your answers, what conclusion have you reached? Do you react with anger? Do you try to justify past actions? Do you avoid conflicts or seek to write a new story?
If you need extra support, you can always call us at 1-866-833-7690 or visit Workhealthlife.com to connect to one of our counsellors online.
Written by Rosana Brasil, LMFT Full-time counsellor in Scarborough
Evan Morris, “Forgive,” The Word Detective, December 5, 2007, http://www.word-detective.com/2007/12/05/forgive/.
Lispector, Clarice. Selected Cronicas. New York: New Directions Publishing, 1996.
Luskin, Frederic. Forgive for Good: a Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. New York: Harper Collins Publishing, 2002.
Mehl-Madrona, Lewis. Healing the Mind through the Power of Story: the Promise of Narrative Psychiatry. Rochester: Bear & Company, 2010.
Mountain Dreamer, Oriah. The Dance: Moving to the Rhythms of Your True Self. Toronto: Harper Collins Publishing, 2001. http://www.scribd.com/doc/38600546/006111670X